Well, where do I start? The people around me know what value the city has for me. Been there quite a few times now, but each time in different phases and times in my life, not just from the perspective of my career but from the perspective of who I was at each time.
The first happened when I was just a student. Went there for the first time, took almost 3 days to reach, 3 modes of transport and all this just for 2 days. 2 days to be in a city which intrigued me, made me curious of what that place would be, met a friend, spent some time and that’s it, my first two days were over in Blr.
Then my life took a turn. Got a bug for building things, taking it to people, learning about their reactions. I think we all know where I caught that bug from. Yes, Blr.
While I was there, I saw things which I can try to explain now but that 19-year-old kid could not. He saw people using different products, being able to navigate through people and places without knowing or understanding their language. A culture different but still accepting, and that only increased the curiosity.
The curiosity of making lives of people easy, bit by bit. Just making my contribution to it and yeah, making a dollar out of it.
The next visit was the one where I genuinely felt should have happened much earlier. Till then I had already tried a few times, failed a few times, jumbled situations, people and opportunities, so this was not just a curious visit. This was a kind of an eye-opener.
When I saw people my age doing something or other and seeing people figure out things as their lives went, where I was at a point where I was failing at a thing I had given my time and efforts to.
Then right there, the city and the people, my close ones, all somehow relayed the same thing to me.
Failing is not bad.
No, yeah, we hear this in the movies, in the shows and songs almost every day. But I think to actually understand it, you need to go through it.
I understood, or was made to understand, that failing was not bad. Not keeping a track of why I failed was bad. Not letting go of the guilt was bad. Not reaching out was bad.
Not just bad but disappointing for a person like me. If we keep people aside, for me it was disappointing to see what I had turned into.
And yeah, it did not fix anything because yes, it’s not a movie. But what it did was it again left a simple bug. A bug to actually identify who I was, what was my calling and what I actually wanted.
And the answer was nowhere else but within me.
Building.
The third one did not take much time, maybe because I started taking life one instead of letting life happen to me.
Yeah, it can, and even to me sometimes does sound funny, but yes, the difference starts when you decide to the core: will you let a situation affect you or will you take charge, plan and affect the situation in all your capacity?
And when you do, very slowly — “VERY” — the situation starts to change, moment by moment.
And for me, it was picking things to build which first I wanted. Be it ThoughtDock. Be it Dispute Dash. Be it Interrogation Room. Some games and some utility tools. Or yeah, be it that resume-to-portfolio thing, what kind of a person I am that I forgot the name. Well, one more thing to fix, nothing much haha.
These were the things I made not because I saw a gap in some market, some billion-dollar ideas, but because I wanted to.
And yeah, this is how I got it again.
I wanted to.
And continue wanting to be a person who has not had regrets of not trying.
Yes, because thanks to the people around me, I know success will be much lower compared to failures. But those are just the battles. In the larger picture, the larger war, you just need to keep trying.
And that is what matters.
How much you tried and figuring out why you couldn’t make it, so that next time when it comes, I don’t fail for the same reason.
Yeah, the famous saying: fail, but fail better.
So this third time I knew who I wanted to be. At least I had started moving to that side.
And yeah, this time again I went to the city with a question, with a doubt. I felt I was stuck just doing the repetitive things, not planning, but yeah, on a different level.
And the answers I got are different too.
Does being a builder mean just keep starting and reach a V0 and stop?
NO.
And that was a big fat no.
Being a builder meant making something and making sure it worked. And if it does not, then knowing why not, how it can, and how will it happen.
By going after numbers.
Getting the actual insights.
You will build things, maybe some people will try it too, but how will you make sure that it is the final version or needs more of your time and building?
If you don’t have the numbers, how will you get the actual kick if you do not have the actual numbers to prove it made lives easy, even if it is making yours?
But at what level?
What was the story before it existed and what is the story after?
So yeah, the city has again ended up giving me a bug. One which I think will stay with me for long, because yeah, as some people whom I deeply respect have conveyed it to me time and again, that it is what will help me catch my first bug the city gave me.
Building.
So yeah, the next few days, weeks, months or maybe even years will be spent running behind these numbers. Numbers that will tell me what impact I had on the place, the people and on my story.
Let’s wait and see what my next visit brings, what new things the city has for me.
Because my inner self still knows I have still not seen 100% of the place.
And as they say, it’s not over till it’s over.
Signing off, until we meet again.